Lies and Broken Promises - E-book - ePub

Most of my biographical information can be found in this memoir "Lies and Broken Promises".  I did not do very well in grade school, but, later, in my mid-20's, I went on to earn my bachelor's and master's degrees at Montclair State University in Montclair, New Jersey.  I earned Summa cum Laude honors with a 3.85 grade point average for my bachelor's degree and 4.00 for my master's degree.  At Montclair, I concentrated on experimental psychology even though they did not have that specific degree program.  I knew I wanted to get into a Ph.
D. program in experimental psychology. I enrolled in a three year doctoral program in Experimental Psychology at Fordham University.  That was a wake-up call for me since I am an atheist and Fordham is a Catholic University.  Half the courses are taught by priests.  I was also accepted into the Experimental Psychology program at Kentucky State University with a fellowship good for $4, 000 for each of 3 years.  I turned the fellowship down because I was involved and did not want to end the relationship by moving to Kentucky for three years.  I hoped to concentrate on statistics and courses like Physiological and Experimental Psychology.  I thought that would make for a good career as a professor and researcher.  However, a motorcycle accident ended my career in college.  I have no lingering problems from the accident, but after 8 months on pain pills, I could not psych myself up to get back into college work.
When I knew a Ph. D. was not in my future, I looked for work in the computer field which was very rewarding for me.  I always wanted to write since way back in grammar school.  I never had the time or the attention span to sit down and do any serious writing until a couple of years ago. My book initially focuses on some of my sexual activities and being molested at a very young age.  I was quite promiscuous and my bisexuality got me into a lot of unexpected situations.  The later part of the book focuses on many of my drug experiences including selling drugs and serving a three-to-five-year sentence in the New Jersey prison system.
I served 27 months of a 3 to 5 year sentence for possession and sale of drugs.  I thought he had my drug addiction problems beaten.  I felt that alcohol without drugs would provide me the relief that I needed from my anxiety and depression.  I started becoming more and more reliant on alcohol as time passed.  My social anxiety was so great that I could not participate in conversations in a group context.
My alcoholic life was a whirlwind of brief sexual encounters and drinking at bars in Greenwich Village.  My sexual identity was non-existent.  I had no sexual preference of a female over a male or vice-versa.  I was just getting started on my academic career as a free man.  I had taken my first few college courses in prison and was determined to earn at least a bachelor's degree.  In no time at all I was consuming alcohol before every social gathering whether it was at home, at work or on the university campus.  I appeared aloof to many acquaintances, but my quiet nature was due to my intense anxiety levels and sporadic depression.
As the years advance and I chronicles the huge impact alcoholism has on my life and my urgent attempts to work towards solutions to my inner turmoil.  As my alcoholism progresses, I get closer and closer to losing everything I've worked and strived for.  My personal relationships are falling apart.  My work on the job is suffering and my relationships with co-workers are becoming stressed.  I need a solution and I need it now.