Held

No one brought a casserole. There was no funeral. And still, you are grieving. Miscarriage and pregnancy loss are among the most common sorrows in the world - and among the loneliest. There is often no body, no service, no line of cars with their headlights on. Sometimes no one even knew you were pregnant. So you are left grieving a baby the world never got to meet, while everyone around you expects you to be fine by now.
You are not overreacting. You are not broken. The grief is the size of the love - that is all grief has ever been. And you do not have to carry it alone. Held is a tender, unflinching companion for the grief that follows a miscarriage, stillbirth, or early pregnancy loss. It does not rush you, fix you, or tell you to look on the bright side. It sits with you. Written in a warm, steady voice and grounded in the work of the people who have studied this kind of loss most deeply, it is the book to keep on the nightstand for the long middle of grief, when the casseroles have stopped and the world has moved on but you have not.
In three parts - The Loss, The Weight, and The Way Through - fifteen short chapters walk beside you through the shock and the body, the guilt that is not yours, the ambush of a due date, the unbearable envy of other people's pregnancies, the particular fear of recurrent loss, and finally the slow work of carrying your baby forward into a real and tender life. Inside you'll find:- Why this grief is so invisible - and how naming it as real begins to heal the loneliness- What no one tells you about the body, the hormones, and the silence afterward- How to answer the well-meaning things people say that land like small stones- How two people in the same house can grieve in two completely different languages - and how to bridge the gap- How to meet the due date, the milestones, and the baby showers on purpose, instead of being ambushed- How to name and remember your baby, tell your story, and decide - with no pressure - whether to try again- Fifteen gentle, concrete practices - for when you are ready, and not one moment beforeYou were going to be their parent.
The love was real. You carry them still - and this book will help you carry them with tenderness instead of silence. For grieving parents, and for the people who love them and don't know what to say. A compassionate gift for anyone walking through pregnancy or infant loss.