"John Smith"

John Smith is a brilliant writer, there is no doubt about it. All the guy wants to be is a teacher, but he doesn't want to waste his precious time with would-be writers/storytellers, i.e. people from writing clubs who only go to clubs because they're so bad that that is the only way they can get anyone to read their work. John writes to Stephen King and James Herbert (late), offering to be their tutor as he thinks their work could do with some improvement in order for them to sell more books.