The Curriculum. Everything You Need to Know to Be a Master of Business Arts

From the mind of the ultimate corporate gunslinger comes this no-nonsense, real-world curriculum, designed to augment-if not replace-the more traditional path to achieving mastery of the business universe. Conquer this sharp, practical and often amusing course of study and save $250, 000 of wasted business school tuition. Unlike those august, Ivy-encrusted factories that churn out masterful business administrators, The Curriculum will teach you the art of business, employing a smart, tactical battle plan that will prove infinitely more awesome as you make your way in the world.
We begin, in the Core Curriculum, with the acquisition and maintenance of Power. Included are such essentials as Not Appearing Stupid (an early career requirement), Fabricating A Sustainable Business Personality, and the arts of Management and Selling. The Advanced Curriculum hones the skills that are required to seize Success by the throat and shake it until valuable prizes fall out of its pockets, including fundamentals on Strategic Thinking, Self-Branding, mastering Electronic Communications, and dealing with Crazy People.
Tutorials and Electives, which students may pursue as their interest or discretion advises, include lessons on Giving an Effective Presentation, Business Drinking, and the Care and Feeding of Ultra-Senior Officers. Lavishly enhanced with numerous charts, graphs, and other illuminating business illustrations, and backed up by years of study from Mr. Bing's proprietary research organization (The National Association of Serious Studies), The Curriculum will occupy a place of pride on any bookshelf dedicated to the study of business, how it works, and how it can be used against those who don't know how it works.
This is your tactical battle plan for mastering the corporate world: Real-World Career Advice: Learn to fabricate a business personality, master the art of selling, and conquer the essentials of power-all without spending $250, 000 on tuition. Unfiltered Business Humor: Navigate the absurdities of corporate life with a curriculum backed by the (entirely proprietary) research of The National Association for Serious Studies.
Mastering Office Politics: From dealing with crazy people to the care and feeding of ultra-senior officers, get the tactical playbook for managing colleagues in every direction. Actionable Leadership Skills: Seize success by the throat with advanced lessons in strategic thinking, crisis management, and effective negotiation.