Sun Tzu Was a Sissy. Conquer Your Enemies, Promote Your Friends, and Wage the Real Art of War

A hilarious and tough-minded guide to winning the war of contemporary life. The Chinese philosopher Sun Tzu taught that readiness is all, that knowledge of oneself and the enemy was the foundation of strength, and that those who fight best are those who are prepared and wise enough not to fight at all. Unfortunately, in the current day, this approach is pretty much horse hockey. Sun Tzu was a Sissy will transcend all those efforts and teach the reader how to make war, win, and enjoy the plunder in the real world, where those who do not kick, gouge, and grab are left behind at the table to pay the tab.
Students of Bing will be taught how to plan and execute battles that hurt other people a lot, and advance their flags and those of their friends. Forget the touchy-feely nonsense. This is your field manual for the modern workplace: Aggressive Career Advice: Learn why kicking, gouging, and grabbing aren't just acceptable in the real world-they're required to get ahead. Office Politics as Warfare: Master the art of planning and executing battles that hurt other people a lot while advancing your own flag.
Satirical Leadership Guide: Discover why the most effective generals aren't strategizing sissies; they're the ones who enjoy the fight and know how to claim the plunder. Workplace Humor: A brutally honest and hilarious takedown of modern corporate culture, from delusional bosses to backstabbing peers.