I Have a Friend (2)

Remember those outrageous friends from my first collection? Well, buckle up-they've spawned sequels of themselves, and somehow their lives have gotten even more deliciously chaotic. My tree hole service is still booming, and apparently, word of mouth is a dangerous thing. Now I'm not just collecting stories; I'm drowning in them. My friends have friends who have friends who absolutely must confess their sins to the stranger who wrote that first book.
(Yes, that would be me.)This time around, we're diving deeper into the abyss of human absurdity. We've got a man who eats pig feed to beef up, multiple thieves who simply can't let go of their fascination with Maotai baijiu, an adult bent on vengeance on a ten-year-old boy. Not to mention the perpetually single (who now have even more elaborate excuses), and yes, those who are still navigating the marital graveyard (some are on their third exhumation - it's a recurring theme, apparently).
I still promised not to write any of this down. And I still did anyway. Welcome back to the tree hole. We've remodelled since your last visit-added some padding to the walls.