Denial. Phantom Bastards MC: 2nd Generation, #3

Carson 'Jinx' BuschI've waited my entire life for one girl. Yes, I've been out with a ton of girls over the years and everyone has simply made assumptions about what I have, and haven't, done with those girls. No one knows the truth except for one person and he'll take my secret to the grave with him. The main problem standing in the way of having the girl I want more than anything else is her dad.
He's a mean fucker and has threatened all of us away from his baby girl. Yeah, I'll admit I'm scared of her dad. Most guys are. Growing up in the club, I've always felt as if I had to be someone I'm truly not. Not because of my parents or close friends, but because of the way we're viewed by our classmates. So, I've tried to live up to that demand and be someone I don't like. All for people who truly don't matter in my life.
Maybe it's fear holding me back, I really don't know. All I know for sure is that I'm ready to shed this version of myself and find out who I truly am away from those I grew up with. Hope LongGrowing up in the Phantom Bastards MC, I was always treated differently by classmates and others the second they found out I had ties to the club. The girls were all treated if it was a given that we would have sex with any guy we came in contact with, and the boys I grew up with were put on some kind of pedestal.
At least that's how things felt to me. Maybe my sister and the other girls felt different, but I know what was said to me and how the guys in my class talked and acted. I wanted to save myself for one guy. A guy I've crushed on for longer than normal. Someone I fell in love with years ago because of who he is beneath the person he shows everyone else. I'm one of the few lucky enough to see who this guy truly wants to be and he's amazing.
Still, he's never even looked in my direction as anything other than a friend and I know that's all I'll ever be to him. So, I try to move on with my life and it's the worst mistake I could ever make when it all goes wrong and leads my family down a dangerous path.