The Cost of Quiet. How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love

Par : Colette Jane Fehr

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  • Nombre de pages272
  • FormatePub
  • ISBN978-0-593-85275-0
  • EAN9780593852750
  • Date de parution03/02/2026
  • Protection num.Adobe DRM
  • Infos supplémentairesepub
  • ÉditeurG.P. Putnam's Sons

Résumé

An empowering, healing guide that reveals the true cost of avoidant behavior in a relationship-disconnection, disengagement, and divorce-and shows how we can instead learn to speak up and start connecting with the ones we love most."I wish I had spoken up sooner."People think relationships fail because of deal breakers like infidelity, finances, or parenting problems. But the real culprit is often much less dramatic: emotional disconnection after years of staying silent and avoiding conflict.
We're afraid to say what we need because we worry about what will come next. Avoidant behavior-the need to "keep the peace" rather than dealing with conflict head on-isn't our fault. Our ingrained attachment wiring urges us to sidestep day-to-day disputes and brush lingering problems under the rug. But silence is a losing proposition in the long term, leading us to self-abandon and essentially "quiet quit" our relationships.
We can make another choice. In The Cost of Quiet, licensed marriage and family therapist Colette Jane Fehr shines a light on the epidemic of avoidant behavior and how to overcome it. Drawing from the latest attachment science and evidence-based therapies she's used to repair the bond between hundreds of couples, Fehr gives us the tools to approach those we love with openness, honesty, and vulnerability.
The ultimate goal: a securely attached relationship that engages with conflict productively, and the confidence that comes from speaking up and being heard-because a good relationship is worth fighting for.
An empowering, healing guide that reveals the true cost of avoidant behavior in a relationship-disconnection, disengagement, and divorce-and shows how we can instead learn to speak up and start connecting with the ones we love most."I wish I had spoken up sooner."People think relationships fail because of deal breakers like infidelity, finances, or parenting problems. But the real culprit is often much less dramatic: emotional disconnection after years of staying silent and avoiding conflict.
We're afraid to say what we need because we worry about what will come next. Avoidant behavior-the need to "keep the peace" rather than dealing with conflict head on-isn't our fault. Our ingrained attachment wiring urges us to sidestep day-to-day disputes and brush lingering problems under the rug. But silence is a losing proposition in the long term, leading us to self-abandon and essentially "quiet quit" our relationships.
We can make another choice. In The Cost of Quiet, licensed marriage and family therapist Colette Jane Fehr shines a light on the epidemic of avoidant behavior and how to overcome it. Drawing from the latest attachment science and evidence-based therapies she's used to repair the bond between hundreds of couples, Fehr gives us the tools to approach those we love with openness, honesty, and vulnerability.
The ultimate goal: a securely attached relationship that engages with conflict productively, and the confidence that comes from speaking up and being heard-because a good relationship is worth fighting for.