That Llama Gonna Spit: Magic and Mayhem Universe. Maidens of Mayhem, #5

From retired supermodel to princess to prisoner in forty-eight hours is a lot for anyone to handle, but I'm Monique Morninglory - Mockingbird Shifter Extraordinaire, Maiden of Mayhem, and proud godmother to the cutest set of half-Flamingo/half-Hound Dog twins who ever crapped their diapers in Tallulu Parish. One stupid phone call, a not-so chance meeting with Mr. Hunka-Hunka-Legal-Llama Hotness, and a trip across the Pond, and every chance of a leisurely, laidback life solving mysteries in the Swamp disappeared like the last fuchsia, rhinestone Prada clutch at the Macy's Labor Day Sale. Holy Great Goddess in a chartreuse G-string, up is down, in is out, and my half-sister is an evil beyotch! Stop the world, I wanna get off! My heel just broke, my tiara's crooked, and somebody stole my favorite MAC lipstick in Ruby Woo Red.
Just wait till my besties from the nestie get here. We're about to turn this castle out and party like Flock stars. Grab your feathers, folks! This is one story you just can't miss!XOXO, Moni