Nosey Rosie. Southern Fried Sass, #2

Welcome back to Hairy Wart! I missed the heck outta all of ya'! And, I know you won't be surprised that we're once again raisin' hell and forgettin' to take names. Rosie, here, buckle up, Buttercups, I'm the Witch your momma warned you about, but in an epically awesome way. Promise. Everything was fine. I mean, normal.for us. Faith and I were arguing, as usual, my bossy Gator-in-law was butting his snout in where it didn't belong, and Daisy was runnin' interference when she could keep her eyes open.
Just another sunny day in Hairy Wort - right?Sure, but dadgumm, it was shorter lived than a flea fart in a windstorm. Gettin' outta the house (away from Faith), Taffy and I happened upon a dead body in the rubble of the Marshall Mansion that literally got up and walked away when we weren't lookin'. No! I am not messin' with you. I swear it happened. Now, Beau and Faith are losin' their minds, the Dragonettes are beside themselves, and Daisy, well, she's sleepin', but that beside the point.
Just when I thought things had fallen to the bottom of the swamp where the creepy crawlies creep and crawl, a tall, handsome Panther with a quick smile and a glint in his gleaming emerald eyes appeared smack dab in the middle of this mess. And now, he's tellin' everybody who'll listen that he's my Mate. What the H-E-Double-hockey-sticks am I supposed to do with that pile of Grunch crap? Good Goddess, if you love me, send a hundred-pound box of chocolate and three gallons of Miss Bunny's sweet iced tea.
One thing's for darned sure, when the Goddess and the Universe team up, with Destiny and Fate on the sidelines, well, it's more than a Witch can endure. Come on down, hang out a while, 'cause Heaven knows I could use your help.