Keisha

I'm still learning and going through it.  Where I'm at now is not where I want to be.  I'm ready to become more stable. I did everything that my husband wanted.  Nothing was too good for him or out of bounds.  If he wanted it.he got it. He was a big man to me.  I placed him above everything.  Everything.  I looked up to him.  Almost worshipped him.  He could do no wrong in my eyes. He turned me on to so many things and created another person inside of me. I did many things for him that a normal wife would.never.do. Threesomes, foursomes, freaky outings and adventures, bringing men home, bringing women home.  Hell, pretty much whatever he wanted.  All I wanted was for him to be happy. I did too much I guess.  Wasn't a challenge any longer.  I never said.no.  I guess that's why he eventually left me. To say I have baggage is an understatement.  I have suitcases. I try not to let other men pay for what my husband did to me but I'm so damaged now that it's hard not to. I don't love as strong and whole heartily anymore.  Hell, I don't think that i will ever love again. It still hurts.  I still cry every week.  Not every day anymore.  I will never again put another man before me or God again!