Equanimity

EQUANIMITYSome people love loudly. Jack loves in silence - and it costs him everything. At nineteen, Jack leaves India for Edinburgh carrying nothing but a worn overcoat, a small handmade teddy bear, and a piece of blue paper with a single word written on it. A word he is trying to become. He is a detective who disappears before anyone can thank him. An assassin with a code so precise it could only have been built by someone who understands loss.
A man who feeds strays in every city he passes through and never names a single one. He is the most capable person in every room he has ever been in. He has never let anyone know it. Equanimity follows Jack across three countries and three years - through Edinburgh's grey closes, Tokyo's vast indifferent streets, and the thin places in the world where the boundary between what is real and what is more than real grows dangerously, beautifully permeable.
It is a novel about the cost of invisible kindness. About loving a family you never showed you loved until it was too late. About a man who kept going not because it was easy but because stopping was never genuinely available to him. And about what happens when the world finally looks back. Still here. Still going.