Deranged Love

Love is a many splendored thing. It's big and splendored and covered with warts and all kinds of stuff, like emotions and big fluffy hair, like the kind you saw in the Eighties or whatever. For a single price, you get not one, not two but four stories about this crazy little thing called Love. You get the best-selling (at least in the author's mind) story of love, betrayal, and a complete absence of mustaches that is known as "Amish Love Story".
In addition, you'll also get that tale of frontier and western glory that is "Prairie Romance". Also thrown in is the story of love in the time of mistletoes, stockings and strange elven creatures known as "A Merry Cliché for Christmas". As a bonus, or incentive or possible bribe, I am also offering a brand new romance, in the same vein as Twilight, Harry Potter and Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, comes a new tale of Supernatural Love between a mortal woman and a creature of the other world, a creature of shadows, a creature that is really bony, dresses like a hobo and smells funky.
Yes, it's a "Supernatural Love Story". The story of Audrey and her love for the Boogeyman. Truly a timeless love story or at least a story that can't be timed with a normal watch.