BumbleCock: The Limp Legend of the Layby

BumbleCock: The Limp Legend of the LaybyA fucking stupid comedy by Owen Croft Darren "Daz" McFloppy has one dream: to be remembered for something other than his Greggs loyalty card and a Vauxhall Corsa held together by hope and cable ties. Unfortunately, the only one part of him ever gets remembered-and it's the part that refuses to stand up when it matters. Meet BumbleCock: Britain's most reluctant anti-hero.
A flaccid folk legend born in the Dog & Duck car park when Daz's sad little worm flopped its way into viral infamy. What starts as a standard night of dogging, Tesco lube and crushing humiliation quickly spirals into a blue-pill-fuelled odyssey of Olympic-level wanking, industrial-strength erections, and a cock that eventually declares independence from its owner. From stealing his nan's Viagra stash to accidentally weaponising his knob at the inaugural Dogging Olympics, Daz's quest for respect ends in a Slough airfield, ten pills, one helicopter crash, and the most traumatic amputation the NHS has ever seen. Think Viz magazine shagged The Inbetweeners in a layby, then finished off on a stolen mobility scooter. Crude, outrageous, and wrong in all the right ways, BumbleCock is a love letter to broken Britain, broken dreams, and the one bit of broken Britain that just won't stay down. Warning: contains scenes of extreme penile misbehaviour, projectile semen, and a gear stick that will never be the same again.
Not suitable for anyone with taste, dignity, or a functioning gag reflex. "Like Irvine Welsh writing Carry On Dogging after twelve pints and a fistful of knock-off sildenafil."- Definitely Nobody