Bill, the Galactic Hero: The Final Incoherent Adventure

BILL - the army's made him what he is today - the perfect Starship Trooper, proud possess of two right arms and a lockerful of feet suitable for every occasion. BILL - this time he's really put his foot (the Swiss-Army one with the special attachments, secret compartments, collapsible mess-kit and condom dispenser) right in it. BILL's been volunteered to join a suicide squad run by Captain Cadaver to the well-known hell-hole planet of Eyerack.
The orders are DEATH OR GLORY - and GLORY made a point of never returning the invitation to the war. So. Can this really be IT? The Long Goodbye? Zero Hour? Harmonicas at dawn? The end of a brilliantly undistinguished career of military mishaps? What can I tell you? This IS BILL's final incoherent adventure!