Bidet: Because Your Bottom Deserves the Best. Short Reads from the Perfumer's Apprentice

Our common origin is water, and to it we shall all return.  In the meantime, we can prepare ourselves by forsaking earth-ravaging toilet paper and turning to -- and sitting on -- water.  If we get all muddy, we do not clean ourselves with a kitchen roll; we resort to that lovely manna that encompasses almost all of our beloved Gaia.  So, why not do the same with that spot on which the sun never shines? Why remain a part of the barbaric paper-using hordes, when we can actually save trees, help Gaia and make our lovers happier?  The bidet is your tushy's best friend.  Open yourself up to the fountain of liquid possibilities.