Attitude Angel

"You want me to help some cranky-assed woman with an attitude to discover the joy of Christmas?" Oh please. David rolled his eyes at them. He adored women, no matter what shape or size. Their sweet scent, soft touch and teasing eyes hooked him in and he went gratefully. But cranky women? Nope. He'd divorced one of those drama queens and he didn't want to start with another."Yes, we do."David liked Aballach.
He had a sense of humor, whereas old prissy pants beside him didn't. But liking didn't mean doing everything someone asked, angel or not. David listened as Aballach explained the problems this woman had. Bloody hell. He was sorry she had problems, but David felt himself wanting to back off at a million miles an hour just hearing about them. Besides, needy people irritated him and everyone had problems.
Helping was fine but hand-holding with some angry woman wasn't. "I'm no angel nor am I the helpful type." Why can't she just get a grip and deal like everyone else?"Because, she's not like everyone else." Aballach's look was meaningful. Whoa-mind reader. "Why me?" There had to be someone more compassionate who gave a rat's ass. Aballach wasn't perturbed by his attitude. "She needs someone real."I used to be real.
What am I now? The whole Heaven thing, while relaxing, had David wondering, What next? "What's her problem?" Why do I care? But he knew the answer. I'm bored. He was used to doing twenty different things at once. In Heaven people just hung out and smiled sweetly and there was no pizza. That was hard for a former pizzeria owner."She's lost and lonely.""Send her a Saint Bernard with a keg of brandy on its neck." David knew that was a hard thing to say but he didn't want to be placed into a position of helping some hormonal woman.
His ex-wife had almost made him swear off women. Almost. Do they have sex in Heaven? That he'd not worked out yet and he hadn't seen many women. That had been making him anxious. Was his part of Heaven male only? God, that's not going to work for me."You are so tacky." Loretto shook his head in disgust. David stuck out his tongue at him. Aballach held up his hands to separate them. "She needs more.
Andalusia needs you.""Andalusia? Who names a kid that? Isn't that a horse's name?" Ten to one there's no man in this woman's life, she doesn't shave her legs and she subscribes to some radical feminist doctrine that'll give me a headache."She's also called Lucy-Lucy Shea, " Aballach explained patiently. "She has no family; she lost her job and at one stage was contemplating killing herself. It's also Christmas time on earth."Cue the violins.
"So you want me to go and kick her in the pants and tell her to stop whining and snap out of it?" David was sorry for the woman but it wasn't up to him to save anyone. He'd not been able to save himself. Aballach smiled. "Not quite. We need you to show her joy, make her laugh. Lucy needs to feel something other than empty inside."Oh man. The angel was getting to him and they both knew it. Outwardly David was a hardass but given the right stimulus and he turned to putty.
He sighed deeply. "Again, why me? I understand that angels get some cosmic high out of helping people but-""You mean what's in it for you?" Aballach understood David only too well. "Would you like to live again, Mr. Falconetti? Would you like to find out why you were murdered?"