Dernière sortie
I Should Be Happy But I Feel Like Shit
You did everything your Asian family asked, and you did it well. Top of the class, respectable degree, and a job title your parents can recite to strangers while the aunties go waah. Then somewhere over the ocean on the flight home, the feeling climbs into your carry-on, and by the time you land it is sitting on your chest. You have googled it thoroughly and you do not tick enough boxes to be unhappy.
Nobody died. Nothing is wrong. You have a good salary, decent parents and an apartment that looks fine on a video call. So you say nothing, because when you try to explain it out loud you can hear yourself, and you sound like an asshole. Your life is good. It's just not good for you. Jon Tan has coached more than a hundred Asian professionals who followed the plan and arrived somewhere they never chose.
Almost all of them were standing behind the same wall, made of the same five shoulds: I should be happy. I should put my family first. I should make this work. I should stick to something safe. I should have a plan. Here is the useful thing about walls. The Great Wall of China was not brought down by an army that took it apart. One general opened one gate. You do not have to dismantle your upbringing, disappoint your mother, or turn up unrecognisable at Chinese New Year.
The drive, the discipline and the family focus all stay. What changes is where you point them. Each chapter pulls one should out of the wall, through the stories of people who got out: the woman whose entire apartment was chosen for how it looked behind her on video calls, the relentless optimiser who scored 90 out of 100 on the exam everyone congratulated him on and 90 out of 200 on the one nobody else could see, the founder who called her business "helping friends" for a year, and the man who left half a million a year in finance because he wanted to do something for fun.
Inside, you will learn the Forbidden Maths, which is the sum about your own life you are not allowed to do out loud. You will find out whether you have been paying in guilt or in resentment, and how to grade the half of your life nobody else can see. And since you have no plan and no passion waiting in the wings, you get a compass instead of a map. Every chapter ends with an exercise you can do in the queue at the bank, or on the toilet.
Jon Tan coaches Asian professionals who did everything right. He came up through Singapore's top 1% academic stream, then skipped university and formal employment altogether, having run businesses since he was thirteen. His clients include corporate hotshots, reluctant heirs to family empires, the former head of a twenty-billion-dollar private bank and a globally acclaimed award-winning clown. He lives in Bangkok.
Somewhere ahead of you there is an ordinary Tuesday where you wake up genuinely excited about your day. This is the book that puts one day on the calendar.
Nobody died. Nothing is wrong. You have a good salary, decent parents and an apartment that looks fine on a video call. So you say nothing, because when you try to explain it out loud you can hear yourself, and you sound like an asshole. Your life is good. It's just not good for you. Jon Tan has coached more than a hundred Asian professionals who followed the plan and arrived somewhere they never chose.
Almost all of them were standing behind the same wall, made of the same five shoulds: I should be happy. I should put my family first. I should make this work. I should stick to something safe. I should have a plan. Here is the useful thing about walls. The Great Wall of China was not brought down by an army that took it apart. One general opened one gate. You do not have to dismantle your upbringing, disappoint your mother, or turn up unrecognisable at Chinese New Year.
The drive, the discipline and the family focus all stay. What changes is where you point them. Each chapter pulls one should out of the wall, through the stories of people who got out: the woman whose entire apartment was chosen for how it looked behind her on video calls, the relentless optimiser who scored 90 out of 100 on the exam everyone congratulated him on and 90 out of 200 on the one nobody else could see, the founder who called her business "helping friends" for a year, and the man who left half a million a year in finance because he wanted to do something for fun.
Inside, you will learn the Forbidden Maths, which is the sum about your own life you are not allowed to do out loud. You will find out whether you have been paying in guilt or in resentment, and how to grade the half of your life nobody else can see. And since you have no plan and no passion waiting in the wings, you get a compass instead of a map. Every chapter ends with an exercise you can do in the queue at the bank, or on the toilet.
Jon Tan coaches Asian professionals who did everything right. He came up through Singapore's top 1% academic stream, then skipped university and formal employment altogether, having run businesses since he was thirteen. His clients include corporate hotshots, reluctant heirs to family empires, the former head of a twenty-billion-dollar private bank and a globally acclaimed award-winning clown. He lives in Bangkok.
Somewhere ahead of you there is an ordinary Tuesday where you wake up genuinely excited about your day. This is the book that puts one day on the calendar.
