Gregor Daniels

Life is simple for Randy. He flirts with an uninterested checkout girl at the convenience store and sells junk on eBay, claiming it's UFO technology. But one night, he survives a real close encounter, when what appears to be a giant dust devil crosses paths with his pickup truck on the road. Randy wakes up the next morning, alive, but not himself. In fact, he looks identical to a pin-up model in a photo from his now-disintegrated truck's sun visor...
Not only are aliens real, it turns out that the feds are already in contact with them... Dr. Knox, the stern liaison for intergalactic affairs, assures Randy that the aliens sucked him up on accident, and they rebuilt his body from the only reference they had. And now Randy's life is completely turned around: the checkout girl is interested in him, the aliens are giving him gifts, and he's got tentacles.
Growing out of places...